Getting Out Of The Grey Area Of Love!

The other night I had a dream. I was looking into the ocean, but it was not the beautiful aqua blue ocean I have grown to love. It was grey with clouds drapping over it like chalk. Goats and some animals unfamiliar to me walked slowly out and away from the ocean as if they had become distressed, weary, and unclear by this literally grey area of their life.

This grey area seems all to familiar to me; especially as it pertains to relationships. The older I get the more I am realizing that love does not live in the grey. You either love someone or you let it go. You do or you don’t. You say yes or you say no. You enjoy or you dislike.

So many times I feel like people convince themselves to stay in relationships by living in the grey area. But, love does not live in the distressed, weary, mucky grey area. Love is light. It is about receiving, giving, sharing, trusting, and taking chances.

When I think about love I am reminded of a church service I went to about 6 years ago. There was a female preacher standing at the alter. Within seconds of the alter call annoucement a tall, slender man came walking down the aisle. He seemed very weak. As he walked it was clear to see that his legs were getting weaker and weaker. The minister in the pulpit saw this. As the man was about to fall in the aisle, the pastor leaped over the alter and ran down the aisle to catch him. She caught him with love in her hands before he could hit the floor. This is love.

The pastor extended her hands to another without living in the grey. She could have hesitated or waited for someone else to assist the man, but she acted out of love and took a chance to catch the man.

Love is special. It holds us up when we are weak and gives us light whenever there is darkness. I am no expert on love, but what I do know is that love does not live in the grey. It gives us the guts to be selfless enough to catch someone else, someone we choose to love.

In Peace,


Argrow "Kit" Evans

TRANSITIONS: Spider Webs or Eagles' Wings?

Do you all remember getting your report card every 9 weeks in grade school? I would work hard each term to make good grades so I could receive my mother’s praise or that extra $5.00 as a reward. I recall the last 9 weeks of the year being the best! Summer was coming, I would get a school break, and I would even be moved to the next grade level. It was a new season of life. Sometimes I was so excited to move to the next grade, but often times I was also afraid of this move. Would I be good enough? Would they like me? Would I know anyone? Would I make friends? Could I handle the work? There were so many things that were unknown.

Well, friends, in 9 weeks I will complete graduate school and transition into a season of life that I have never fully experienced. No more summer grade school breaks. No more semester academic report cards. Career, family, relationships, dreams, goals, business, slowing metabolism, 30’s, friendships, children, work, full time. The unknown, yet known list continues. I ask myself: “Kit, how do I put transitions into perspective?”

One of the first images I think about is a spider web. This year spider webs have been all over Berkeley, California and I have walked into quite a few. When I walk into the spider web it is because I have not seen it coming. I get tangled in it. They cover my head, hands, and sometimes, additional parts of my clothing and body. It really does turn into a mess! Do I allow life transitions to imitate walking into the mess of a spider web? Do I walk into the web of life and allow myself to get tangled in an unhealthy way?

I ask myself: “Kit, how do I put transitions into healthy perspective?”

Isaiah 40: 28-31 is encouraging. “God will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. 
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. 
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

What I am realizing is that if we don’t give up God will give us the strength to spread our wings like eagles in our families, career, and relationships. Eagles can fly up to 15,000 feet high for long periods of time without fainting because it is their strength and wingspan that propels them. The word says that God has given us this type of strength to tap into. We don’t have to embrace the spider webs of life and get all tangled in the mess that can come with transitions.

In the midst of transition I encourage you to know that we never have to choose fear, confusion, hurt, and despair. If we trust in something beyond ourselves, I believe God has the power to assist us in living the “good life” that he has called us to. So spread those wings that God has given you and move forward in this season of life! God has your back, God has our back!

Making Sense of the Bible: What Grandma and Seminary Taught Me

As I enter into last semester of seminary I find myself finally making sense of the deconstruction and reconstruction of my meaning making, especially as it relates to the Bible.

I was born and raised in a small southern town in North Carolina, where my grandma was the epitome of a “good Christian woman.” I remember a vivid picture of her. Grandma is sitting on her porch with a Bible in one hand, and another Bible under her chair. She is studying the text with her glasses on while also eating a fresh tomato sandwich. The person taking the picture calls her name and she delights in looking at the camera with a beautiful smile. Grandma loved people, God, and reading the Bible.

Grandma lived to be 70 years old; however, she suffered several heart attacks, strokes, and the amputation of her leg. But, through it all, she still professed her trust in God and her strong belief in the literal interpretation of the Bible. My grandmother was my connection to Christianity. She was also the connection that linked me to the African Methodist Episcopal Church I grew up in.

I entered seminary embracing all that my grandmother and the church had taught me. Scripture was the word of God and should not be questioned. It was “a lamp to my feet and a light for my path,” which guided my daily life.

I never thought that after my first semester of seminary I would literally be knocked off of my feet. After my Old Testament and New Testament classes all that I thought I knew about the Bible was put on an operating table and dissected. Who “really” wrote each book in the Bible? Did God influence each book? Where did the manuscripts come from? What is the social, historical, and political context of each book in the Bible?

I went from sleeping in the bed with my Bible for comfort to putting it on my bookshelf and only taking it out for church and Old Testament class on Mondays. I felt as if I had to choose one or the other: look at the Bible critically or accept the Bible as the word of God, without question. There seemed to be no in between.

Over the last 3 years I have worked to find the in between. There is not one perfect copy of the Bible: true. Every version is based on a variety of manuscripts: true. Scripture has a variety of social, political, and historical contexts, which should not be taken literally in today’s contexts: true.

Beyond all the dissection and healthy questioning I have concluded that by understanding the social, political, and historical context of the Bible I am allowed to “dig deeper” into the meaning of scripture. Though the people in the Bible lived in different contexts from us today we can learn a lot from the teachings within the Bible and can often apply the teachings to our lives as we presently live them.

When I read scripture now I have a new lens, one that allows me to look into the text and understand the context of what lies beneath. Thank you, seminary! When I read scripture now, I also have a lens that allows me to receive the sacredness of this text that my grandmother and so many before her knew very well. Thank you, grandma!

As I enter 2012 I can say that my Bible is no longer on my bookshelf. It lies next to my bed, on the nightstand!

Occupy Oakland Strike: Change and The Power of Nonviolence

Last night I marched with thousands of people of all ages, ethnicities, and classes to the Port of Oakland. People were chanting, smiling, speaking about nonviolence, talking about change, playing Michael Jackson on stereo.

What was most powerful for me was not only the march, which symbolized the need for social and economic equality in our world, but also the spirit of nonviolence that feed so many of us.

There was one particular incident where violence could have been a reality. There were thousands of us standing in front of the Port of Oakland fence. Around 7:40 pm or so an employee of the port tried to drive through the mass of people to get to his job. He was driving slow, but seemed somewhat forceful with his driving. Within seconds people started to kick his truck, scream at him, someone even jumped on his truck looking as if he was going to kick the windshield in. However, this violence was stopped within seconds. How? As soon as this happened a powerful chant came from the crowd, “NONVIOLENCE, NONVIOLENCE, NONVIOLENCE.” Though initially our voices seemed low, we were joined by large numbers who believed in the same. The “NONVIOLENCE, NONVIOLENCE” chant turned to chanting, “PEACEFUL, PEACEFUL.” Many of us held up peace signs. Within seconds the majority of us was chanting and standing for peace. The angered man jumped off the truck and protestors stopped kicking the man’s truck. A nonviolent protestor led the man and his truck out of the mass of people. My classmate looked at me and noted that the man who lead the truck driver was Oscar Grant’s relative who he saw speak in Berkeley once. Oscar Grant was a young man killed by the BART police in 2009. This witness was extremely powerful for me. There is power in speaking up for peace when violence surrounds us. Speaking up can literally shift the energy and change a particularly harmful situation.

The media seems to focus so much on the negative events happening in the Occupy movement, but yesterday I was inspired. I saw first hand the power of nonviolent protest in action within this movement. I observed a relative of Oscar Grant extend compassion to a man who could have potentially harmed him. I drove by school children standing next to their school with their handmade signs chanting in solidarity: “We are the 99%!” I’ve heard the testimonies of many and my heart, mind, and soul is moved to compassion and action. Last night on Occupy Oakland Live-U Stream the brother facilitating the live footage spoke to the police directly after force was expressed on occupiers. He noted, “It is the love and compassion of the fellow protestors that I will remember from this movement. It is not the violence and brutality of the police (or others). Love and compassion will always win over violence and brutality.”

After leaving the port I went back to the Occupy Oakland encampment at Oscar Grant Plaza. I left around 9:30 pm, but followed the reports of violence via live streaming. I had the same sentiments as my friend Sam. He notes, “Reading the news-reports from the middle of the night, it saddens me to hear of what took place. It also convinces me of the importance of continued involvement in this growing movement - the importance of maintaining strong voices for the methods of non-violence, and being open to listening to the anger and the frustration of those who feel compelled to use more violent means.”

The movement needs you, needs us, to step up nonviolently in the call for equality. We need more jobs, equal access to health care, equal access to excellent education, and more. We are the hope! We are the change! We are the 99%!


In Peace,


Argrow “Kit” Evans

Stopping Stinking Thinking: “You Are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made!”

"I am fearfully and wonderfully made!” “I am fearfully and wonderfully made!” “I am fearfully and wonderfully made!”

Two months ago I sat with a group of 40 South African teenage girls and we chanted this verse from Psalm 139: 14 over and over again. In this lesson we acknowledged the reality of our sometimes-stinking thinking. Regardless of the context, there seems to be startling expectations as it relates to women and our bodies. Our society teaches that we should be a certain height, shape, hold certain roles, have certain hair, eye color, even shoe size.

I have seen Black women in Kenya purchase lightning cream to make their skin lighter. Women in China literally bind their feet together to become more attractive. Black sisters in America often rush to the salon to get hair relaxers so that their hair won’t become “nappy.” As a young girl I remember telling my mother I needed glasses in order to get the hazel brown eyes (contacts), which I interpreted as beautiful. Every time I watch a daytime doctor show on television there seems to be an emphasis on how we women can change our bodies. But, how do these societal realities on image impact our mind, body, and spirit?

When we feel we haven’t lived up to societies expectations this can have a major impact on the way we feel about our bodies, which has a direct impact on the way we think and function in the world. Our mind, body, and spirit are connected. In the book, Hunting for Hope, Scott Sanders notes, “There is a parallel between mind and body,” and, I believe spirit.

Can there be hope in a society that often labels us by the way our body looks?

I have used Psalm 139:14 to encourage others and myself. For me it speaks about the love that God has for us. God loves us so much that he knit us together while we were still in our mother’s belly. He made each one of us special. God specially crafted each one of us: mind, body, and spirit with wonder, with awe, with love. Every cell, every organ, every hair, every mole, every dimple, every scar, every wrinkle, and every pudge that seems resistant to leave! HE LOVES YOU and created you super special. Because of this we can value our temple, nurture our spirit, and feed our mind with positive thinking. I have a 12-year-old female cousin who is in 7th grade and 6 foot 2 inches tall. One day a young boy, who was shorter than her noted, “WOW, you are so tall. You are like a giant!” My aunt and I watched to see her reaction. She smiled at him and stated, “Thank you!” Just like my young cousin we have to work to get to the point where society does not define who we are and what we think about ourselves. God helps to define who we are and what we should think about ourselves. So I challenge you to push away the stinking thinking and embrace healthier thoughts focused on how God sees us. “You are fearfully and wonderfully made!” “You are fearfully and wonderfully made!” “You are fearfully and wonderfully made!” Believe it!

Finding Hope in a Society That Executed “Troy Davis”

Yesterday a brother named Troy Davis was executed for supposedly killing a police officer over 20 years ago. Though seven out of nine witnesses recanted their statements he was still executed (http://www.amnestyusa.org/our-work/cases/usa-troy-davis). Over the past week I have seen people express anger, hurt, peace. I have listened to people speak about the family of Troy Davis, but also the family of the police officer killed. In the midst of all of the unjust and hurtful realities where do we find hope?

Hope means, “to desire with expectation of obtainment.” Yesterday there were vigils, protests, and petitions even went out to stop the execution. All of this energy shifted towards bringing about change in the midst of injustice. What I wrestle with is what happens tomorrow? Today this is all over CNN, facebook, and intertwined in our conversations. But, how often do we forget about the Troy Davis’ of the world and move on to speaking about the next issue. What are you going to do in this movement for hope, justice and equality today, tomorrow, next week, next month, this year, next year, five years from now? I am hopeful how we as a people can mobilize and speak out against injustice. I am also hopeful that we can step up and challenge ourselves by investing our energy and time in joining a cause, signing a petition, volunteering in our community, educating our children and by becoming involved in ways that can bring about sustainable change in our community, our country, our world. Like Gandhi expressed, “We must be the change we wish to see in the world.”

Peace,

Argrow “Kit” Evans

E-D-U-C-A-T-I-O-N: GO HARD! PASSING ON TO THE NEXT GENERATION.

My 5-year-old niece (Judah), my 41-year-old sister, and I all experienced the same event this past week: the first day of school! On Judah's first day of school I called her to hear excitement in her voice. Her mother told me she went to sleep early for the first time without fussing and woke up before the sun came up. Her excitement about her education exuded beyond measure. Judah's super woman t-shirt matched her super intense smile, with excitement, with gratitude, with expectation.

Millions, if not billions of people around the world have a first day of school every year. I am now going into my 12th year as a student outside of high school and I must say it has been quite a journey. Some joys, hardships; some accomplishments, but also some sleepless nights. As I enter into my last year as a student (formally) I ask myself was it worth it? At first instinct realistically I quickly say, "Heck to the NO!" The life of a graduate student can be quite trying! But, there are those moments where I challenge myself to think outside of myself. I remember my great grandmother telling me stories of working as a maid in our small Southern town. I remember her telling me stories about her father share cropping on another man's land just to feed his own children. Grandma had a middle school education. I assume her father did not have the privilege to go beyond elementary school. My grandmother was a wise woman and her words often ring in my head, "Get as much education as you can get baby, get as much as you can get." Grandma knew that education was actually a privilege and something very important.

Thinking outside of myself helps me to remember that sacrificing to attain an education actually is not solely for ourselves, but our determination to achieve what ever dream we aspire is passed down to the next generation within and outside of our communities, our families. What is it that we will pass on to our children? Write the paper, take the exam, take the course, get the degree. Not everyone is called to be an academic, but we can strive to learn as much as we can in our work striving to bring our best selves in whatever work we are called to do. Cars, houses, and clothing all depreciate, but our high school diplomas, certificates, and/or college degrees hold their value.

Grandma always noted, "No one can ever take your education from you." She was right! Though the world is in very trying economic times and jobs are scarce, education still has much worth and always will. After 12 years of hard work in the academic game I can say that it was all worth it. It's worth it! GO HARD and go get it ya'll!

-Argrow "Kit"